A timeline of how news develops on social networks

A timeline of how news develops on social networks

Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep! Ex-tray! Ex-tray! Something's happened!  Whatever will Facebook, Twitter, and the Tumblverse do?

  1. The Event happens.  News organizations post or Tweet it with the word "BREAKING" in front, but not much else.
  2. CNN apologizes for reporting the opposite of what happened.  Posts a correct report with typos.
  3. Initial Commentary.  Pros: "YAY! VICTORY FOR FREEDOM! LET'S FUCK!"  Cons:  "BOO! WORLD'S GONE BAD! SOCIAL DECAY! FAP TILL I FEEL GOOD AGAIN!"
  4. Arguments begin.  Lots of factual errors.  Some name calling.  Significant amount of defriendings and unfollowings.
  5. News Analysis begins by experts.  More facts start coming out.  George Takei posts a topical picture with a pun for a caption."Takei one for the team!" -Actual Takei caption.
  6. Comedy postings!  "Looks like Republicans are blurpdablurgh!" "Senator Slapdeewap likes shoopadoop more than a barpadarp likes shackalacking!"
  7. HuffPo posts "The Best Tweets So Far."
  8. Apathetics post, "WHO CARES ABOUT THINGS THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT? NOT ME, THAT'S FOR SURE!" and elitists post, "DON'T HAVE OPINIONS IF YOU HAVEN'T SPENT 42 YEARS IN OPINION SCHOOL!"
  9. Miss-the-pointers and non-multitaskers post, "Why are we talking about this while there are still poor people?"
  10. Your shitty Facebook friend from five years ago posts, "Some people just aren't worth the trouble."  You agree, and defriend them.
  11. Someone important says something shocking about event.  Outrage and assent.  YouTube autotune remix of the soundbite gets 200,000 hits.
  12. Somewhere, 800 Syrian puppies are massacred, but you'll never know.
  13. You tire of the news item and go back to Googling stories about how Neil Patrick Harris is a great guy.  And he is.  He really is.  

Featured Photo by Jason Howie

Living on "the worst street in London" in the shadow of the Ripper

Living on "the worst street in London" in the shadow of the Ripper

Victory in Europe