A timeline of how news develops on social networks
Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep! Ex-tray! Ex-tray! Something's happened! Whatever will Facebook, Twitter, and the Tumblverse do?
- The Event happens. News organizations post or Tweet it with the word "BREAKING" in front, but not much else.
- CNN apologizes for reporting the opposite of what happened. Posts a correct report with typos.
- Initial Commentary. Pros: "YAY! VICTORY FOR FREEDOM! LET'S FUCK!" Cons: "BOO! WORLD'S GONE BAD! SOCIAL DECAY! FAP TILL I FEEL GOOD AGAIN!"
- Arguments begin. Lots of factual errors. Some name calling. Significant amount of defriendings and unfollowings.
- News Analysis begins by experts. More facts start coming out. George Takei posts a topical picture with a pun for a caption."Takei one for the team!" -Actual Takei caption.
- Comedy postings! "Looks like Republicans are blurpdablurgh!" "Senator Slapdeewap likes shoopadoop more than a barpadarp likes shackalacking!"
- HuffPo posts "The Best Tweets So Far."
- Apathetics post, "WHO CARES ABOUT THINGS THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT? NOT ME, THAT'S FOR SURE!" and elitists post, "DON'T HAVE OPINIONS IF YOU HAVEN'T SPENT 42 YEARS IN OPINION SCHOOL!"
- Miss-the-pointers and non-multitaskers post, "Why are we talking about this while there are still poor people?"
- Your shitty Facebook friend from five years ago posts, "Some people just aren't worth the trouble." You agree, and defriend them.
- Someone important says something shocking about event. Outrage and assent. YouTube autotune remix of the soundbite gets 200,000 hits.
- Somewhere, 800 Syrian puppies are massacred, but you'll never know.
- You tire of the news item and go back to Googling stories about how Neil Patrick Harris is a great guy. And he is. He really is.
Featured Photo by Jason Howie