Selfies are sign of social decay, says society that is definitely not decaying otherwise
The people of America have spoken: Selfies are bad.
Dumb Tweeters are taking selfies at Auschwitz, and writing an article on how that is wrong is a serious and worthwhile and not at all self-evident editorial stance, says the press of a country that thinks there isn’t 24 hours of news worth covering in the entire world every day.
A Polish couple taking selfies of themselves fell off a cliff and died, and this is all because selfies and not because of cliffs, says the nation that is honestly pretty happy cliffs are there to hold back the rising seas of a hotter world.
Selfies are linked to narcissism, says the country where taxation is seen as personal theft rather than communal gain.
Nude selfies are a gigantic threat to our schools says the citizens of the nation that has experienced 63 school shootings since Newtown and has yet to pass any meaningful legislation to protect those kids.
Selfies are ruining your relationships, say the people who elected a Congress so dysfunctional that it is literally the least productive in history.
Selfies are a sign of addiction, say the Patriots of a land that prefers to jail addicts (as long as they’re a certain color) rather than treat them.
As of press time, there does not seem to be any other signs that anything is going wrong in America. Just the whole selfie thing.
Featured Photo Courtesy of Daniel Lee.